Welfare Articles

Handling the emotional toll of being away from home

Pilots are no strangers to long hours and time away from their families. But the job doesn’t just take a physical toll—it can also weigh heavily on personal lives, creating a unique emotional strain.

Being hundreds or even thousands of miles away can leave pilots feeling disconnected from family, missing out on significant moments, and struggling with the helplessness of not being there when loved ones need support.

Whether it's missing birthdays, school performances, or even an emergency, the emotional challenges of the job can sometimes feel just as demanding as navigating a flight.

Hidden Costs of Being Away: Emotional & Psychological Impact

Long stretches of time away from home, whether for domestic overnights or international flights, are part and parcel of a pilot’s lifestyle. This physical distance can lead to emotional strain and feelings of disconnection, which aren’t often discussed openly in the aviation industry.

Research, including a study titled The Impact of Work on Pilots’ Personal Relationships (Avis, Bor, and Eriksen 2004), highlights the isolation and extended periods of separation pilots often face, leading to stress, guilt, and frustration from missing family events and milestones.

One of the most significant challenges is the emotional burden of missing key moments in family life. For pilots with children, missing school events, sports activities, or milestone birthdays can lead to feelings of guilt and anxiety (Bor et al. 2010). The constant fear of missing out (FOMO) can affect a pilot’s sense of self-worth and overall job satisfaction.

Many pilots have also expressed concerns over the stress of being away during family emergencies. Whether it’s a sick relative, an injured child, or a household crisis, the inability to physically support loved ones during these moments can exacerbate feelings of helplessness.

Research from The Mental Health of Pilots: An Overview (Bor, Field & Scragg 2010) has shown that these emotional burdens can take a significant toll on a pilot’s mental well-being.

Strategies to Manage the Emotional Toll of Being Away

While these challenges are real, there are practical steps pilots can take to reduce emotional strain and maintain strong relationships with their families.

1. Leverage Technology to Stay Connected

Thanks to the digital age, staying connected with family is easier than ever. Video calls, instant messaging, and social media platforms can help reduce the sense of isolation that many pilots feel when they’re away. Studies, such as one published in the Journal of Aviation Psychology (Field 2011), show that pilots who engage in regular communication with their families report lower levels of emotional distress and better overall mental health.

Scheduling regular check-ins—whether it’s a nightly video call to read a bedtime story to the kids or a weekly update with a partner—can help stay involved in daily family life. Even if you’re halfway around the world, it’s possible to watch a child’s school play in real-time or share a laugh over a video chat.

Pro Tip: Use apps like WhatsApp or FaceTime to set up “family time,” where you can chat, share photos, and even participate in family activities from a distance.

2. Build a Reliable Support System at Home

A major source of stress for pilots is the feeling of helplessness during family emergencies. When
something goes wrong at home, whether it’s a burst pipe or a sick child, not being physically present can intensify feelings of guilt. Establishing a reliable support network at home can help alleviate this stress.

Having family, friends, or trusted neighbours who can step in during emergencies can make all the difference. Research published in Occupational Medicine (2015) found that having a solid support network significantly reduces emotional distress, especially for those in highrisk professions like aviation.

Pro Tip: Ensure your emergency support system is well-versed in your family’s needs and can contact you quickly.

3. Create an Emergency Contingency Plan

While it’s impossible to predict every emergency, creating a family contingency plan can offer peace of
mind. Set up clear communication protocols for when things go wrong. This might include having a list of contacts to call during emergencies or a plan for how to return home quickly if needed.

Pilots should also discuss with their airline or employer the possibility of rapid return during critical situations.

According to research in The International Journal of Aviation Psychology (Scragg et al. 2008), pilots who have clear contingency plans in place tend to experience less emotional distress because they know there’s a path to getting home if the situation escalates.

Pro Tip: Set up a group chat or email list for your family and key contacts, so you’re kept in the loop on
emergencies back home.

4. Prioritise Self-Care and Mental Health

Managing the emotional toll of being away from home is as much about looking after mental health as it is about managing logistics.

Pilots often face high levels of stress due to irregular schedules, fatigue, and long working hours. Prioritising self-care through mindfulness, exercise, or professional counselling can help cope with the stresses of the job.

Research in Aviation, Space, and Environmental Medicine (Field & Bor 2008) has shown pilots who practice regular self-care and stress management are better equipped to handle the emotional challenges of their careers.

Techniques like mindfulness exercises or deep breathing can help reduce anxiety and improve emotional regulation, making it easier to navigate both work and family life.

Pro Tip: Take a few minutes before or after the day's duty or before you leave or arrive at the hotel to practice mindfulness to reset your emotional state and reduce stress.

Conclusion

Being a pilot is both a rewarding and emotionally demanding career. The job requires significant sacrifices, particularly when it comes to family time and personal milestones.

However, with the right strategies, pilots can manage the emotional toll of being away from home, maintain strong relationships with loved ones, and still have a fulfilling career.

By staying connected through technology, building a solid support system, creating contingency plans,
and prioritising mental health, pilots can navigate the challenges of long-distance relationships and
unexpected emergencies.

As research shows, proactive steps to address emotional strain can make all the difference in maintaining wellbeing—both in the cockpit and at home.

Pilot Strategies for Managing Emotional Toll

Regular Communication: Schedule regular check-ins with family through video calls or messages to stay involved in everyday moments.

Emergency Plans: Build a reliable support network at home and establish a clear plan for responding to family crises.

Self-Care Routine: Dedicate time to mindfulness or stress management practices to stay grounded and emotionally resilient.

Mental Health Awareness: Recognise when emotional strain is overwhelming and seek professional support if needed via the AFAP's Member Assistance Program.

By focusing on these strategies, pilots can reduce emotional distress, stay connected with their families, and continue to thrive in their careers and personal lives.

24/7 EMERGENCY HOTLINE: 0459 747 757
MEMBER ASSISTANCE PROGRAM (MAP): 1300 307 912
AFAP MEMBER SERVICES: 03 9928 5737